Tearing in verse

I'm in knees,

not sure why.

I'm in knees,

like I hope for something,

something still worthwile.

I'm down,

tearing in verse,

hoping to come back,

to my studies,

to be man.

I've falled,

I've failed,

I'm waiting for most.

Waiting what,

I'm telling mine,

as I have 100 reasons,

to go on and say goodbye.

I feel tempted,

once again,

over my old times,

to be back in track,

or even better,

on the right one.

I'm sick,

I'm cold inside,

the heart has blacked again,

and I'm here,

searching for a light.