Sweet Comforts

Pat... Pat... Pat... Pat...

I stir from my sleep and turn towards the edge of the bed instinctively.

Pat. Pat. Pat. Pat.

As he gets closer, the sound gets louder. I’m now fully awake. He realizes our bedroom door is open.

Pat-pat-pat-pat.

He has now entered the living room of our little home and picks up pace as he makes his way to our room.

Pat-pat-pat-pat.

My husband stirs as he finally hears our son's feet padding across the floor. He groans and rolls away from the sound.

Pat-pat-pat-pat.

He’s almost through the kitchen now. I hear my husband whisper, “Why can’t we have one night without him coming in our room?”

Pat-pat-pat-pat.

I smile. He means no harm, he’s just tired and our little boy woke him up.

Pat-pat. Pat... Silence.

He’s now in our room and just rounded the door. He knows the way; he’s just checking to see which way I’m facing.

Pat-pat-pat-pat-pat.

I reach out my arms, as I do every night he comes into our room.

Pat-pat. “Momma?”

He sees me reaching, but he still always says that. I grab him and pull him up and over me; laying him on his back in between his father and me as I have done since he started walking.

“Mmm, Momma.”

He turns towards me, as he always does, and pulls himself as close as possible, pushing his cold toes up on the bare skin of my legs, and his cold fingers on my face; causing me to flinch.

Fffp. Fffp. Sigh.

He flips himself back and forth trying to get comfortable then finally turns away from me and gets comfy.

“Hmmm-mmm, Hmmm-mmm.”

He starts to softly hum as he falls asleep; making me smile and I know my husband is too. I wouldn’t trade this for the world.

This is my husband's third child; my first. His first to come to sleep with us almost every night.

He complains, but not much. He knows this is my comfort.

We know this stage won’t last long. We know one morning will be the last that we will hear Pat-pat across the floor.

One morning will be the last morning that my little boy will cuddle up to me and struggle to get comfortable enough to go back to sleep.

One morning will be the last morning that he hums himself back to sleep, where I can hear him.

But until that time comes; I will cuddle him back.

Until that time comes; I will enjoy the smell of the baby shampoo in his hair.

Until that time comes; I will let him hum us both back to sleep.

Because that’s my comfort.