Sweet & Sour Self-Sabotage (Life With ADHD)

i don't quite understand, how so often i stand in disgust,

i can't quietly stand in front of the mirror and trust-

how many times have i stood here in front of the glass,

asking who's really in control?

who's really in the lasting role?

am i even trying?

or is it just a story i'm buying?

sold by the glass, my past is laughing and the mirror's crying-

the last thing i'd think is that the glass would step to trespass-

if that's the case then why not walk away and let it collect its dust?

if a gust of wind takes it then so be it

because at this pace i won't need it

if it just breaks then so be it-

because if the glass doesn't break then i will,

if leaving this place is a must for me then so be it-

my last words to the glass will be "i won't miss you."

if i need a new venue then so be it-

i'll take the first appointment-

i can't continue with this disappointment

i can't continue to sit quietly if this is a test

if my best is really just this,

i can't just stand and ask quietly, i have to demand the rest-

without the rest, i'm restless in the sunlight and dreamless in the moonlight

i'm team-less in the crowd, because me, myself, and i are soon to fight,

over the mess of text in my mind

it spells out inadequate,

its effect is me asking why don't i just quit

scattered concepts moving about undirected

from subject to subject, i wonder what's next-

i wonder who's to blame-

me, myself or i

or that man in the mirror, the glass

i hate the pain of staring at that pane

if it's me then who was it in my past?

and if it was i, than i only have myself to blame

standing in disgust again-

just me, myself i, and the glass mirror