Swallow the noise

when you learn that you’ve always been invisible, even when so many are looking you and the world tilts,

You turn the TV off, the screen that held you when others were cold,

The screen that swallowed the pain and spat out fake contentment

The idea of a block of land that holds safety, a pair of cloud colored eyes that pierce your very breath—-

Into pieces, into colors that fall against the heavens like a waterfall not made of water

You turn off the TV but it stays on in your mind

Swallowing up all the little protests, the big grief, the tall tales we told ourselves to remain sane

We all see the world in a tilt but it’s moving, moving so slow yet so fast

And yes, through all of this, your cloudless, light-filled eyes stay in my mind even as all the other lights dim

As the camera pans away

Like the scene in Taxi Driver,

How can anyone stand that much pain

The camera doesn’t even dare look at it

How can it be dealt with head on?

I felt loneliness the worst when everyone had their eyes on me

When they all acknowledged the tilt

Yet did nothing, said nothing,

Moved nothing

So we all swallow the noise

Letting the TV talk instead.