SUBSIDE

He said It hurt

Seeing others happy and able to enjoy even the merest of pleasures

Desiring emotional shields from inevitable pain that was bound to head his way

The pain he felt from the cards he had been dealt was too much to allow him to help himself so

He said it HURT but it felt better

It felt better to see the fire spill from his form

To embrace the sting of life’s hell

To modify his body with symbolic incisions representing his pain, disgust and his inability to prevail

He said it Hurt… but it was oh so sweet

Having a brief intermission from life’s adversities

Void of sensation numb to the touch

Emotionally unavailable and checked out he doesn’t feel much

Confined in corners of rooms he occupies

Withdrawal, social isolation, inability to lock eyes

He said it hurt …to do so

To expose himself to the further possibility of plight

With no figurative boxing gloves completely unprepared to fight

Self-esteem non-existent

self worth in the deficit

Optimism obliterated after past experiences of being the receptacle of other peoples bull shit

Viewing himself as a clogged toilet

Nearing foreseeable overflow due to overload of irreversible damage

See he used to think he was good now he sees himself as damaged goods

He said it hurt … to hurt others

See cause that’s all he now knows and all he shows

Projective defense mechanisms illuminating his fears onto the face of everyone he encounters.

He knows that he is imbalanced

And unequipped with ear plugs to make the devil silent

Mind has been idle too long and the Devil Is now well acquainted with his playground

He said it hurt …to back down

Mind made up now

Up high looking down

Upside down smile on his face as his body makes an untimely acquaintance with the ground

He’s gone now… too late

How do I know cause he was my client and to his last session I thought he was simply late

When in actuality his body was being scraped off of unfairly violated asphalt

Now forever damaged goods just as the body that last occupied that space

The body that struggled and fought

But the same body that gave up

Because he said It Hurt.

And his pain was dually inflicted

Physically by him and emotionally by ones that he initially depicted as Good-hearted

If I could speak to him again I would assume he would say that yes …

It Hurt … but now his pain has subsided