Stranglewank

booked into the Sebel Townhouse

for a bit of R and R

but i may have overdone it

and gone a bit too far

i covered myself in coconut oil

and grabbed my favourite sash

wrapped it round my neck once or twice

then i gave the bishop a bash

passing out while flogging my log

i thrashed about a bit

and that’s how the coroner found me

cock in hand and covered in shit

i can’t be too sure of the timing

but i think i spoofed everywhere first

then i popped the veins in my neck

everything just up and burst

in a pool of my own fetid fluids

and that was how i came and went

soaked in the remains of my nuts and my arse

drained exhausted and spent

and just like in all those bad movies

i was able to hover above the scene

they are gonna need the jaws of life

to get my hand off my peen

my spirit soared above my corporeal form

and it’s only just gone quarter to seven

i need to locate my new celestial lodgings

cause there’s a wanking contest in heaven