Stolen words

Giving you up was the worst mistake I could have made. I took you for granted. I let someone I hardly knew take you out of my life and convince me you were not worth keeping around. I can’t believe I did it, but it’s true.

I listened to him. I slandered you. I laughed when he made fun of you and called you names. I don’t deserve your love. I have talked so poorly about you, to so many. I have only myself to blame.

I was the one who chose to love you. I didn’t realize you never chose to love me. Eventually, you fell for me because I couldn’t let you go. We made so many good memories together and got along so well. We had such a special connection that I will never forget. I miss you dearly. I miss you every day. Sometimes in the morning. Somtimes it’s at night but usually it’s in the short silences that creep in throughout the day.

My brain runs in circles chasing the memories of what we had. I will never find anyone else like you. You were my soul mate and I let you go. I took you in, then I took you for granted and I regret it every day. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you, missing you, longing for your comforting eyes. Your warm chest and strong arms that would hold me as I fell asleep each night.

Now you are with another. And I saw it coming. I knew you would end up with someone else some how. I knew there was someone else out there who could make you happier than I did.

I’m thankful that you found her, and that I didn’t take too much of your time. I can see from a distance that you are becoming the person I always knew you could be.

The loyal man, I used to dream you would be for me.

I am so proud of you for that, though it breaks my heart.

I wish you could have done it for me. If only you saw me the way I saw you when we first met. I saw you so vividly, and I have myself to you. Maybe that wasn’t fair… maybe it’s not what you wanted.

I thought we were on the same page. We took things fairly slow. Only to find out the first time you said you loved me, you never meant it. You didn’t have to say it. I wish you wouldn’t have said it. We could have took things slower, I was happy where we were.

I let myself get sucked into your lies. I

let myself go down the rabbit hole trying to fix your issues.

I should have been focusing on myself, but I let myself go. I died a little inside that day. The day I found out about those other girls, your tinder account and the pictures, I should have walked away.

I remember shaking on your couch all night and barely being able to breath between each tear. I thought you loved me. But I was living a lie.

I should have walked away. That would have been better for me. I would have been respecting myself more. I shouldn’t have called him the next day and asked to talk. I was playing myself. I thought I could change him and be the only one but it wasn’t true. It was never true.

I was a fool to think it was. I wanted to believe all your lies and stolen words. It was such a cozy fantasy, but it was never real.

Though I am thankful, for all the pain you helped me heal. Even through the heartbreak, you were still always there for me. It’s what kept us going, it’s how you helped me.