Stillness

That was the year I went missing.

Not taken.

…It was more like….

A part of me was lost on you and

that’s the part he took but,

wait,

I was never taken away, okay?

He never took me.

He just tried.

While you were looking in lover’s lairs, I was here, by the sea,

tending to that thing within

which used to feel

but now went numb and so

I started fucking.

Fucking,

Which was, for me,

a ritualistic shaking of my lifeless passion’s shoulders,

shouting -

stay with me,

don’t go,

I will not leave you here like this.

I was obsessed with fucking.

But I could not feel.

And so I was wrong about him.

That Guy cannot bring back to life the very thing he killed.

That Guy can’t even get me passed the initial pulls of passion,

so, no.

Of course he did not take me.

I was taken only when I was good and ready to get took.

And then it was not That Guy, but The Tide,

The Pacific Sea, My Perfect Prince, My Fantasy…

whose deep and brutal tug took me

under pleasure’s wing,

lifted me to soar across that place of perfect stillness,

and carried me the long way home

to myself.