still there tomorrow

Late last night, after I had watched

“too much” tv,

I wondered why I’d ever choose

not to sleep.

I drifted off standing

in front of the kitchen sink.

And I thought of sinking into

my warmly-lit bed

and almost fell over

right then and there.

But then-

oh,

but then I

remembered.

I remembered adrenaline rushes and all the handwritten letters I could write and being pulled into a hug that shelters me when i need it most and prolonged eye contact that feels like the biggest risk you’ve ever taken and prayers and answered prayers and being in the wilderness and watching someone pay it forward and having a good cry and the heartbreak that follows the end of a good book and headphones-in, frolicking in alleyways and encouragement from strangers and encouraging strangers and realizing how strangely delicate the world is when you watch it all keep going.

I remembered what it’s like to keep going.