Still Praying II

Dear God,

Where are you?

I know you're here, listening...

but where?

I know you hear...

me, and my heart's blistering‐

testimonies of freedom continue to reach my ear,

only for my own not to be one of such.

~

When will you answer my prayer?...

will you again deny my desire for relief?

Forgive my disbelief,

this suffering has been dreadful and satisfactionless‐

this cup is bitter and distasteful,

and life has for long looked to be meaningless.

It is not just me that is asking,

but this cloud of witnesses that knows of this desolate sea.

~

What should I expect to see?

When I pray for comfort...

when I beg for relief...

when I wish for peace...

Why do you choose not to calm some storms?

Have I not endured enough?...

my eyes lost all their tears and wish to close‐

but my heart continues to cry.

~

Dear God,

When will this life you gave me be fulfilling again?...

forgive my prayer for you to take me off of this earth‐

when will it come to be?...

the purpose of all these lonely nights I cry out loud to you‐

the reason for this unending season of trial...

You of all, know the burn marks on my knees and calluses on my hands‐

but of course, I will still continue to pray.

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