states of matter

I have been liquid

poured to fit many containers

daughter student sister partner friend

flowing into each to the contentment of its unwitting creator

-

a bottle of seawater bobbing around in the ocean

“safe” and afraid that to break is to sink

that the bottle is the only thing keeping me afloat, from getting swept away

-

I have been frozen

cutting through landscapes like an iceberg

leaving a path of destruction in my wake

too numb to acknowledge the wreckage left behind

-

a block of ice sculpted by the passage of time and hearts and betrayals

“safe” and afraid that to melt is to fade from existence

that my frozen exterior is the only thing keeping me from being shattered into a million pieces

-

I have been mist

existing without form

barely perceptible but as a slight shimmer in the air

a bit of moisture on the skin

-

a slight thickening of the atmosphere

“safe” and afraid that to condense is to give form to all of my fears

that to be nothing is to be safe from everything

-

by heat or by hammer the ice melts and the bottle breaks

the clouds form and the rains pour

and when the ripples subside

and the flood waters abate

I realize that all along

I have been the ocean