Spectrum of Life

When I was younger,

I tended to plague myself with the thought

that I was no different from anybody else.

I would always look for validation

from my family and friends,

and relied on them to tell me

what I should have already known.

I found myself comparing

others' joyous lives and accomplishments

to my own, seemingly insignificant doings.

I was put off by my own existence, thinking I didn't belong.

I couldn't acknowledge for the life of me

how my future could ever be hopeful

or promising.

I never did see the little bit of Divine

hidden beneath my cerulean oceans of happy tears;

And in the never-ending depths of my heart;

And even in my body,

the blessed vessel that allows me to feel

every color of emotion there is.

I lay in bed late at night,

wondering why I had been brought into being;

Was it just to laugh at me?

I don't get to experience happiness like everyone else.

I often feel like I don't belong here.

Nobody understands.

I lived a cruel existence then,

never truly knowing that

I had a place in this world all along,

I just hadn't seen

what was right in front of me.

Just because I didn't see it for so long,

did not mean it wasn't possible.

Underneath the exterior of a feral,

frightened little girl

nestled a fierce warrior who has endured

many wars, battles, and scars

and wears them on her wrist,

unafraid of the stigma that acts as a blinder to all.

Jolting awake, my eyes were finally opened.

My muffled, muted, grey past

and my perspective, the whole time,

preventing the prism of endless possibility within

from shining on myself, and those around me.

I still fight this wounded beast today,

now lingering behind me with a lessening grasp;

but it will conquer me no more.

I nurture the sun-kissed passion

that I project from myself unto others.

I accept the gift of grounding,

the very essence that keeps

the towering green forests standing strong;

endlessly flowing through my mind.

In the same breath, I also allow myself to embrace

my sweeping blue tides of sadness;

and the burning, molten will that fuels me.

I lovingly welcome the very flaws

I once resented, and considered impure.

I accept my downfalls, because

that is what makes me unique.

Once I found and unwrapped my inner value, hastily tucked;

It did take a lot of searching,

but I find that now, no one else's words sway me.

Others' judgement and perception of me are not me -

and I know that their words no longer have power.

Since that moment,

my newly acquired knowledge shook me,

and changed everything in my life.

Out with the old, and in with the new;

I now look into the mirror with purpose.

My lilac aura no longer hides behind

the biased opinion of my shadow self.

I shine brighter than ever -

and more vibrantly than anyone else will know.

I am unlike any other;

I see the spectrum of life through my own eyes.

I am the only one to know my true self.

My thoughts, feelings, and experiences,

filtered through my consciousness -

hidden from the world to all but me.

Every living being has the potential to

love, care, and show compassion;

but not every living being has the power to stop fearing

the many shades of flaws, mistakes, and lessons

that come together to create

the enchanted, beautifully crafted being that they are.

Upon realizing the power that the Universe has bestowed

among every radiant, loving soul;

No longer fearing what I am not,

the light refracted against the backdrop of my soul,

nestled in the words, "I am".

My true colors were shown from that day forward.