Soul Searching

It’s not a dream, it’s a plan

& I’ll be damned

If I let defeat graze the head

Rather be dead

The soul screams like a banshee

When it feels dirty

When the body feels broken

& your choices are taken

Scrubbing endlessly in the water

& if you rub harder

Maybe his touch will disappear

As I embrace my fear

Crawling with self disgust & confusion

How long am I losing

Myself, my strength, my confidence

This is too young of a lesson

I’m supposed to a child Kalon

Like a beautiful song

Sung too quick & too deep

You are a man I’m only 13

Is fear not enough to make you shame

The way I will for endless days

Society has so much to say

How was she dressed, she wanted it that way

Did she lead him on, it’s her responsibility

Men only do what the women want intimately

Unspoken words rot the spirit

Until you finally quit

If you tell others how will I be seen

Am I really a victim? Did I provocatively

If I wear shorts & Barbie socks

Should I wear a Chastity belt lock

Does my hairstyle matter or how I breathe

I don’t feel safe walking down my own street

Don’t look at me as weak, oh poor thing

If you saw it happening

Would you truly do anything

Or notice my internal external screams

A piece of you is taken that’s never coming back

You need something stronger to plant

In your body, spirit & mind

Don’t go gently into the good light

Find your inner Medusa & let her speak

Never again will you be seen as weak