Sorry

I believed what you said
I trusted you
I believed I was safe with you
I trusted that you would still accept me
When I got things wrong or made no sense

I thought you could see it
I wasn't myself
I let myself believe you cared
I know it's my fault that I pushed you away
It was the last thing I intended

There are many reasons
But hard to explain
I have tried, but clearly I failed
I don't have the words to say how I feel
But I know I am losing control

I feel like I'm screaming
But nobody hears
I'll try to pretend that I'm OK
But it's been so long that I have not been
I don't know how to be who I was

I thought I had found me
I should have known better
Than to believe I had a true friend
I want to to give up, I'll never belong
I'm sorry for thinking I could

Would it hurt less or more
If I believed
That you were not being controlled?
Perhaps you can't see what's in front of you
I think you master knows that I can

I know I've been selfish
It wasn't meant
I needed someone to hear
'Though I try, I know I don't get things right
Please be there to catch me if I fall