Sober But Why?

It all starts with the wake-up

The wall comes up

It guarded with a beast, filled with rage fueled by delusion and pain

Molded for years running off of fears

Fake takes at the future seeming real made of barriers and hills

Downed it with pills ended with shakes and chills

While getting laid out cold with a shot of bold

Bourbon

Sober now but why?

Living for some purpose so I can one day walk through the gates of heaven?

To better my soul?

One problem

My soul

Filled with so much commotion overtime went through an erosion

There are pieces missing

Blank spots filled with hot shots

Blood red visions and the world on fire.

I can't express, never say the things on my chest, never rest, depressed, just stressed cause I wanna

Wanna cry, feel like I'm not going on faking a lie that I understand what your expressing cause I don't.

My patterns were created to mimic an expression of learned coping skills it not real I just pick up quick think I'm slick but I'm just a liar on fire just tired. But I'm learning... Don't stop the fight cause if I do it lights out good night. I want this power greater than me to see I deserve a heart of flesh not his heavy heart of stone. I'm ready, sobriety has been steady growth has commenced and will never stop because I believe what he did for you I can have too. But the clocks ticking and I'm reminded every day when something bad happens that I'm just a copier of the sort but I don't really feel your hurt, I don't care. Look me in the eyes let's stare until you break away from seeing a piece of the soul-less demon within that has my heart locked in a cage guarded with rage. I'm ready to go tear down the wall ill pay for it all the demolition that symbolizes loss and weakness but in truth is an open door to his will, love

Whatever you are, ill feel you one day as I feel the life-giving star on my skin, I know that's real.