Sleepless Nights and Weary Eyes

Sleepless nights and weary eyes lead me to tired lies. Many in which I convince myself are true and are only mine. Thoughts and emotions of the heart that carry me to shore, to another stranded island. there’s no longer any hope to get back unto sea with these currents. Currently avoiding burdens and its moments of learning. Oh, how the tables are forever turning, and these letters continue to burn. Heartaches further as I stand by the fire by a small trickling brook. Flames arose with each letter of the past turning to ash, disappearing into what I can only hope for. That it’ll find its own way home to distant memories and come to the essence of peace. And exhale in and onward it’ll be an inhale of harmony. One in which I can not lie to myself about.

The drive home was no different as I am leaving my memories burial ground in which the ashes take their path with the wind and away for home. I can only for its safe return as I hope for mine. Surely I am deserving of that and nothing more.

The wavy and lonely road lightened with the sun above peaking from rainy clouds. Of course, the distance in between destinations seemed timeless as my thoughts also rode along, keeping me company in forgotten travels. Travels that I too forget from time to time, yet I have always managed to come right back. In those moments of thoughts that made further distance than I physically did, I would never forget nor forgive myself. Time went on and my heart did not.

In the blackened room I knew there was a ceiling in which I did not see but belief told me there is. “Blessed are those who have not seen yet have believed.” Through all the static and flashes of grey light, memories have danced one last time. Taking my hand in a masquerade, leading me to drift away in the soundless ballroom. Hand and hand we had and one last moment to bring stillness around I have. There I shall weep and become fixated by the beauty of all that was once and smile for what shall be. In silence, I continue to hear the cries of many and the laughter of a few and somehow find solidarity in both. Solitude brought all in the tranquility that’ll one day bring the utmost mesmerizing moment that’ll one day repeat like the melody that it is.

The morning came swiftly when dawn broke through the rustic drapes. Still in between of both dreams and wakefulness. There will always be a question of whether I have slipped into a dream and still hope I awake. Perhaps I am and the dream within itself continues with the breath in my being, which will forever be blessed to have. The thoughts and currents in my soul have finally faded away as if they were the burning letters; the ash lightly swaying in the wind and away from my reach so that I no longer have a reason to revisit. A smile to its peace is the same essence of reassured bliss I felt in that moment onward it continued. There at that moment which each breath I have taken, created another moment in this life a memory.

Yet through all the uphill climbs and cold and rainy nights I continue to have, I once again revisit those sleepless nights with weary eyes. Reliving the lies that eventually bring me back to the truth. It is not until the dawn of the new day that breaks through those rustic drapes I come to believe that I am home.