Sleepless

I am now so freaking tired,

but I just can't fall asleep;

endless thoughts about the day

and how it could have been upkeep.

*

Why is that, when I could use

a night-long leisure to recoup,

it's when I have it the hardest

and my brain goes for a loop?

*

All the thoughts appear at once,

flashing paintings of my life;

notions of the future and past,

doubts and worries were rife.

*

Can I go back to those old days

when I was young, stable, and blessed,

when didn't took that much to enjoy

going straight for a long rest?