Side Effects

My brain,

My name,

My prized possession and creativity,

Gone!

Frantically I search

from East to Quest

and South to Snud;

rubbing my eyes like a sleeping tot.

Awaken you wrinkled blob of matter!

Awaken and let me -

let us! Discover the world.

Touch, smell

see and learn.

Analyze,

criticize.

Notate and annotate

Add quotations:

F***! ...Citation.

Read and reread,

scribble and scrap-

wait, what did it say?

Read...reread

write - no, erase

edit, rephrase

What did they say again?

Reread...

Reread...

Spinning.

We're spinning.

We're spinning and spinning and spinning

and spinning and spinning and spinning

and spinning and spinning

bashing and crashing my palms to my head

mimicking words with silent lips.

The lights!

They flash.

A moment

here!

Then they're gone.

Tumbling like a loose lipped drunk

out in the sidewalk ends.

We're spinning again

spiraling down-

Slouched on the floor

My palms up like a chimp,

and shoulders slumped.

I weep.

Tank-sized tears smear tread marks down my skin.

A harrowing shrill explodes from my lungs,

bombarding the silence of these plastered walls.

And I,

it's shell,

lay cracked and hollow.

One my land,

two by sea.

light a candle

and pray for me.

As I hold the fort in this battle

of wits.

Like carpet-bomb brigade,

I cover my ears

though it is from my lips these missiles fall.

My tongue is dry and throat

is tender.

* * *

I missed lecture.

Get up.

I missed rush hour.

Get up!

What's the point? My next class starts in thirty...

Get up!

Twenty nine...

I push myself up with rusted hinges,

Battered and ragged, I grab my keys

Twenty five...

Traffic,

traffic

why the hell is there traffic?

Ten...

nine...

Damn this light.

From yellow, red to green.

Six...

five...

four...

Round and round the corners we go,

Three...

two...

Burst through the doors!

Bound down the stairs!

I fall into my seat only two minutes late.

Lecture starts.

Halfway through.

My eyes grow heavy.

Stay awake!

I'm spinning again

Hold on

My mind grows numb-

Like doll with bulging eyes casting moon-like shadows upon my skin.

Like a toy soldier with a key

un-wind-ing

slow-ly

"Professor?"

His lips move, yet I cannot hear.

Spinning

again.

I'm spinning again.

Sloshing in the current of charcoal tides

I drown in the sound of my silent cerebellum.