She’s Human

She knows she’s human! Oh boy, she sure understands this from the depth of her soul,

Just as she understands we are all human, all doing those stupid human things we do,

Mistakes, forgetfulness, accidents, are all human foibles,

So she expects we’ll all make a few.

****

She has compassion for others when they innocently do wrong,

Especially if she knows they’ve tried their absolute best,

She knows on a deep level it’s how we learn our most valuable lessons,

Like it’s the spelling bee of life, nothing more than a test.

****

Why then does she crucify herself so badly when she fucks up?

Why? Why? Why?

There’s this voice inside her head that harps on berating her for her mistakes,

Crippling her until she freezes and can do nothing more than cry.

****

She breaks her own heart with every misdeed,

She finds even the smallest of mistakes unforgivable, but only if she’s at fault,

Intolerably human, but she knows to be anything but is an impossibility,

Still she’s her own worst enemy, her inner critic horrific in its assault.

****

Absolutely pathetic, the way she crumbles and holds herself accountable,

Internally criticised, taking on the role of parent to her idiotic child,

Although she’s intelligent enough to understand the unreasonableness involved,

And wanders the literary edges of her sanity as she gets lost in the wild.

****

Her head is consistently bowed in shame, the load far too heavy to bear,

Is she really so unlovable when she falls into her imperfection?

Worthless? Useless? A bane to modern society?

She tries, she really tries! Constantly seeking absolution and correction.

****

She fights this battle of earthly existence,

Broken spirited at such a young age,

Crushed beneath the foot of one that held the ultimate power,

Forevermore making her a prisoner of that internally wired cage.

****

As she grows older, she becomes more unforgiving,

Damn! She questions why she’s not wiser with each year,

Unrealistic expectations imposed by that critic that now resides within her head,

Adding another battle scar to her once pristine veneer.

****

She hides behind a fence built of smoke and mirrors,

Pretending she is different, cloaked in her best dress,

But deep inside she’s a frightened six year old, totally traumatised,

Hoping, praying, you’ll not see her as she really is! A broken, shattered, unlovable mess!