SHADES

The broken and battered the bruised and the loved the shades of those from before paint my mind like a Matisse

Now I see the knowing the shades of my life

The Black and Grey

The yellow and the many shades

The sage of redemption

No longer grey but in full bloom

I know the things I should’ve

But the red colored my fears turned them into full blown nightmares

I don’t think they’ll understand

So I’ll stay in my shades of grey

They cling to me no matter how I try to paint them they return no matter how I try to shake them

Sometimes I think I was born blue an I’m trying to out run the outlines but they return

I tried to paint over you and you and you

but still inside me coiled deep the brush strokes of the past and now I have to put you on display for everyone to see

The way it looks but I don’t show it

The way it sounds but no one can truly hear

The way it feels but will anyone care

The way it ends will I still depend

I see now I think my blue has drowned me

I try to pick up my feet but still it has a hold on me I guess I just I’ll be many shades of me