Self esteem

I was raised to believe things about myself and the world, that from the start made me feel less than and unworthy

Brown eyes aren’t pretty

Skinny girls are sick

Glasses are stupid

Intelligence is a waste

To cry is a weakness

To hope is silly

To dream is childish

A body is to please

A mind is to give

Money isn’t happiness

Lacking is a crime

If you don’t fit in you’re a fool

If you don’t stand out you follow

Damned if you do

Damned if you don’t

But if you don’t you’re selfish

And careless and cold,

Treat others how you want to be treated,

No matter what you get in return,

Be thankful and grateful and pay your debts,

But don’t you dare expect from others

So pray in silence

And give it your all

And remember that the struggles make you stronger....

But I’m older and I’ve followed their rules,

Broken and bruised,

Left for dead and used,

Smile sweetie it isn’t that bad,

But how would they even know...

they’re the ones who told me all these years to keep my head down and my mouth shut and now they question why my mind races and my thoughts wonder and darkness takes ahold.

Give till you’re dead and then give a little more

And in your death they’ll say great things

And make their peace with the way you were,

Justify their hate and forgive your mistakes,

While in this life you had to endure and pretend it doesn’t really hurt.