Sea Beach Dreams

When I was younger

I thought things would keep getting better

I did not imagine constant hurdles

An uphill battle

When I was younger

I had untainted dreams

Life was full of endless possibilities

I was eight years old

I was wearing an orange skirt and a white tee

I loved the beach

I am knocking on the doors of my memories

Searching for details

I wish I remembered more

I wish I weren’t so forgetful

I remember my mother’s smile

Cool breeze, sand, happiness

She clicked my pictures

I wasn’t worried about looking imperfect

An inexplicable lightness

I lost it somewhere along the way

That trip is a hazy blur

But I still wish to go back to it

I remember laughter

My parents seemed happy

I stayed lost in my head

Swimming pool dreams

It was the summer I learned how to float

My happiness knew no bounds

I knew then that at least I wouldn’t drown

My short hair. My blue swimsuit.

My innocence and hopes

I feared crabs. I still do.

I did not speak much

But I felt the joy

Water makes me happy. It always did.

I should drink more of it

My present is headaches

My past was sea beach dreams

How I wish I could go back to it.

...

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