Screaming Silently

Where are you?

I'm so confused,

It's like talking to a different person,

Though you're still here,

Why are you shouting?

There is nobody there,

Yet another uncomfortable night,

Trying to find the man I love,

Inside your tormented mind,

Do you remember me?

I'm not the monster who hurt you,

I'm the woman you love,

And though you don't mean it,

Your words still hurt,

Yet another night,

Another boot in the back,

Another bruise in the morning,

I know you didn't mean it,

You were shaking,

And you don't remember it,

My heart still loves you,

But it aches,

My mind is hurting,

I'm longing to find the real you,

The gentle giant I love,

I feel guilty for being scared,

For needing a separate room

where I can rest;

I can't help you if I don't

help myself,

I don't mean to hurt your feelings,

I still love you,

But I must look after myself,

Protect myself from the pain,

I cry in the night,

I feel out of control,

Your disability affects me too,

My man has changed,

It's not his fault,

It's not mine either;

I never get used to it,

I can't accept it,

I'm alone,

Screaming silently,

For your heart.