Six years gone.
But,
I still flinch at
7:14pm.
First shift, travel nurse,
the hospital:
clamped to the spine of a jagged mountain.
"Mayberry's" lights
twinkling below.
Town so small I missed the turn twice.
You rolled in,
small and broken,
fourteen minutes into my shift.
And fourteen years old.
For an hour, we fought.
Hands beating your tiny chest.
Syringes delivering empty promises
to your still heart.
By 8:14, the doctor called it.
I forget his name.
He was Cuban, kind.
Voice warm
like his Florida pavement.
We washed your face,
We swept blood from your brow,
while your mother’s heart
shattered.
She sobbed into the linoleum.
She’d worked these halls once,
Everyone knew her,
Everyone knew you.
And your last moments?
Laid bare for the world
Doors flung wide
For all to witness.
Then.
Room Three.
He stood there,
arms crossed over greasy gray sweats.
Eyes searching, hunting.
I pulled the curtain
on your mother’s farewell.
His finger snapped up,
calling the "hired help."
“Yes, sir?”
“Bullshit.” he growled,
“Been here all damn day.
Not one of you offered me dinner.”
I stopped.
Laughter like the broken glass
in your hair
scratched at my throat.
Your blood still wet on my hands,
and this guy
demanded a
meal?
“Sure,” I said.
“Let me tuck this girl
into her body bag.
I'll find some crackers.
My bad.”
Something in me split.
Something in me shattered.
Something I'll never fix.
Six years,
I still feel the chasm.
I heard it once,
muttered in a breakroom:
"I’m tired of doing the impossible
for the ungrateful."
It’s true,
scratched into my eyes,
knotted in my throat,
tucked beneath my badge.
You, little one, softened me,
But,
He
hardened me.
I still sway between them,
never finding balance.
I will always carry you,
shift after shift.
But, god, I’m getting tired.
So god
damned
tired.
--------------------Author's Note-----------------
First, thank you for reading! Although it's obvious, I feel it needs to be said: I am absolutely not a poet. But, when I sat with the challenge prompt, and the "I Wrote This" challenge, I kept coming back to my personal experiences as a nurse. This piece is based on a true event during my time as a travel nurse in a rural hospital. Writing this for me was less about crafting poetry and more about trying to give shape to something I’ve carried for years. It’s a confession, a reckoning, and in some ways, a tribute.
About the Creator
Sandor Szabo
I’m looking to find a home for wayward words. I write a little bit of everything from the strange, to the moody, to a little bit haunted. If my work speaks to you, drop me a comment or visit my Linktree
https://linktr.ee/thevirtualquill




Comments (6)
Wooohooooo congratulations on your honourable mention! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Congratulations on your placement and the TS! 🎉🎉
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Ohh man what a great poem and a terrible experience. Fuck that person for being so heartless…. One note: unless I’m mixing my challenges up, for the I wrote this one you have to also do a voice recording. I would also hazard this would work for the unsaid challenge. Either way great work
Hey Sandor, I'm so sorry, but I'm a little confused 😅😅 Who was it that demanded a meal and who died? I hope writing this was therapeutic for you. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️
Well-wrought! And you did fine! Your short clips of imagery really drove the scene across, especially the contrast between the two patients. A suggestion: Check out stories of Walt Whitman aiding civil war soldiers. He saved limbs, brought them treats, wrote letters home for them, advocated for them to the nurses and doctors. There is sorrow and joy there, but there is also a humanity that must, or at least so I think, redeem any of us from the doldrums. We can't save them all, but we can take solace in the effort.