Rewind

If I could turn back time

to the start of it all,

to where ignorance corrupted

once innocent, now disrupted,

I wouldn't change a thing,

once teetering on the cliffs edge,

I would not stop the fall,

though the scars mar my skin,

I would not step back,

though I'd ache to run,

to feel the ease of an untampered mind,

the cotton of comfort, once swaddled,

the success, the peace; oh, how I've dreamed,

but roads untravelled may crumble,

potholes too deep to be freed,

without armour

survival is not guaranteed.

What would become of me?

I have grown fond of who I am,

clawing through a battlefield,

triumphant on shaken legs,

shaken hands, they hold his tight,

I have seen the world in both black and white;

I linger where it is grey,

where the sun both sets and shines,

I have fallen but I have flown

to where the cosmos meets the clouds,

twinkling brilliance, a light in the dark,

a spark, a hope, a reason

to trudge through both tar and murk

could I live with nothing

when I thrive on hope?

Could I throw myself away to the pleas of paradise?

To live shallow, hollowed,

dissecting credibility for a taste of stability,

I would not know,

where would my empathy derive?

Would I look at strangers, not knowing what they hide?

This darkness, a plague, a curse upon my mind,

the lingering caution, the two forward, one back,

the heartache that cripples,

the heartbeat that longs,

the adrenaline of risk, of knowing right from wrong,

yet choosing passion,

choosing words,

choosing song;

here, where I belong.

If I could turn back time,

I would shed a tear,

cripple the clock and live

willingly afeared.