Resignation in Color

To: A Me I Once Knew

Cc: The Universe

Formal Letter of Resignation

Dear Me,

I would like to notify you that I am resigning from my position as stone. A massive grey body lumbering above the ground; grass leeched of its chlorophyll green, withering beneath me in dark shadows cast by my mass. Golden rays of sunlight blocked from nurturing its growth. The weight of earth’s gravity resting squarely on slate shoulders has become too much to bear. My hard etched features translated into crusted scoria rock, red restless eyes glossed over by black obsidian. Found face down amidst the chaotic upheaval, I desire restoration. Head fixed in the direction of cool waters, I long contemplated this separation. Easter Island will not be my tomb. Call me Mo’ai no more.

I can recall the circumstance that brought me to this position. Pliable clay warped into this curved vessel of humanity. Tender terracotta skin dried by intermittent kisses from the wind. I remember the soft touch of bronzed sunlight. Weathered by fire I cracked. This break in my earth colored armor never repaired, just glazed over with a salve of temporary fixes. The distance within me widened its gap. I was coming undone. That was the day I calcified. My hardened heart affixed in its resting state. The sediment collected damming up my feelings. Grateful for the clarity gained from solitude, it is through thick black smoke clung to bright orange embers I signal my departure.

Next month I will be taking a position as glass. When the first day’s light shines through the prism of what I’ve become I will refract the brilliant colors of the rainbow, with assurance that it will be enuf. No more living life in muted tones through sepia filters. I want to feel every wavelength in the spectrum. The scarlet red hue of my heart magnified for the world to see. I'll let it come forth bursting out from between a ribcage of webbed cracked spider glass. A blank canvas in a beginner art class, I yearn for the prickly sensation of uneven brushes saturated with experience. From now on, I think I’d like to be a mood ring. Enthralled with the deep purples of passion, washed over by blue and green seas of peace and relaxation. I want to get lost in a mint green forests of cheerfulness. The thought alone ties my stomach in mustard yellow bundles of nervousness but the rosy hue of happiness slowly breaks the skin’s surface. Even when the deepest shade of fearful black creeps into the night sky I will mirror the aurora borealis with my smile. This beauty was always there. This previous position allowed me to see the beauty in having wafer paper thin skin. To be human is to be delicate. I make my home in this glass menagerie with gilded bars of authenticity. Take me in as I am.

Best Wishes,

A “Colored” Girl