Remnants

Rummaging through the remnants of my life. Again. Looking for traces… pathways to the forgotten ones. Calling me home. Drawing me in. To a place of knowing. Tapping in. Tuning out the crackling of old tapes. Reigniting the flame of my truth. If there are ashes here… there must have been fire once. Fire needs kindling kind links kind hands to ignite the spark into wisps of flame gentle breaths to nurture into loving embrace fire cannot burn hot alone in this cold cold world fire me fire me up fire me down fire me all around until I become holy ash to be scattered returning to feed you.

Some part of me has always heard the music of a greater dance…

I have moved and been moved throughout my life. I am a mover and moving... on pilgrimage. Seeking my purpose, making my way, choosing my paths, trailblazing where the path did not exist.

Memories… what do I re-member… what is real… possible histories, dreams, fantasies… Still, memories are stepping stones from times past… sifting through my past lives and uncovering truths, lessons, confessions, insights… understanding who I am… what have I learned?

To recollect is to re-enter and transform…

I was born with a why in my mouth, questioning questioning questioning…

I recognize the way we order and structure our lives is our own making. There are many contradictions within a system that need to be confronted as our human realities change. In seeing the contradictions, I am forced to seek alternatives, not just adapt to what is. Refusing to accept structures that no longer serve. Seeking change. Not playing according to old rules when a whole new way is needed. Refusing to be caught by guilt apathy or despair. What is the shape of the new order? Dreaming and wooing new combinations for justice making. Forming new relations. Being imaginative, irrational, spontaneous, beyond the pragmatic and realistic. Losing my bonds. Sunsets blessing me, moonbeams and northern lights dancing in my soul. Midwife to my Self.