Re-finding myself

Things that make me feel,

scare me ,

So I’d rather be silent .

Like the Dead Sea , all my tears and thoughts pile up ,

So when you hear me speak for the first time,

You might think me a little too

salty...

That’s the side effect of leaving everything inside,

Even the pretty flowers die ...

I wear my smiles like I wear my skin ,

Even in times where it is impossible to hold myself together,

I smile ,

It’s really easy to fall if you keep looking down the cliff,

So I’ve been running away from myself

Closing doors to places I’m scared to reach into

Just in case I meet myself there

Broken and alone ,

What’s the algorithm of self love ?

Can you send it to me

Sometimes I find myself trying to find myself in the mirror

Am I really here or am I pretending ...

I understand that I’ve been made in His image

So faraway should be thoughts of insecurity

Cause I’m clothed in majesty

By His grace I’ve been elevated to a position of elegance

And yet

I still find myself wondering

Why I occasionally don’t feel like being.

-Harriet