randy's master class in gas-lighting

so you make jokes in poor taste about me and my ways-

demonstrate anecdotally, and totally how bigoted you really are,

and the depths by which you think i live- then ask if that shoe fits as if it’s a defense.

that is not what matters except as an example by comparison of other things;

and i told you what REALLY did- that you go between insisting

you never have or ever would say a word that might be offensive or give reason

to feel unsafe. so keep cherry picking what suits your story

but here’s a short list of things why i stand firm behind my walls from you.

there is that, even after i corrected your perception of a mutual romance,

you let slip that already you acted as if i was something to be possessed,

telling me how you use social media to stalk my every move.

what about you telling me to get out and that you were being used

when your unspoken notions of romanticism were not returned by obligation?

or the times you told me about your neighbor, the cop,

whom you could have come enforce your whims with a quickness

like your own personal goon squad?

for that to be a thing you would never do, it was threatened in excess.

or when you tell me about how connected you think we are,

and i'm someone you know you have always known;

and how we share a flame, except you can’t seem to understand how or why we don’t.

what radiates from you is not at all a familiar light inside.

there is, too, that i have gotten weary and very tired of fighting,

and so instead just bite my tongue- so then my silence is then taken as a sign

that i'm okay with everything i said i wasn’t.

when i brought to attention that i am not comfortable with the fact you don’t listen

to me when I talk or to what i say you proudly said “no, i don’t."

maybe it is that you think i should think i am respected

but clutch your pearls when my boundaries are the only thing erect between us.

so you can tell me all the reasons why your fantasies should be real.

but if they don’t match the way you act, then wish in one hand and keep shitting all over me,

and tell me once you're done that i have no reason to be mad-

cause you were just trying to have fun.