Rainbow In My Chest

A rainbow in my chest

presses hard against my ribcage,

threatening to tell my secrets.

But my rage, white hot flames, licks

the skin where the colors claw to come out,

cauterizes the opening and singes their

tips scorch marked, until they grow still,

defeated this day.

I saw Red once, and I wondered why they

looked like the endangered flowers of the island

that was home to a family I was blood to,

but not heart of.

And Blue, too, peeked through

and reminded me of the favorite colors

of my favorite people,

and of the sky, the ocean, lapis lazuli and

his eyes...my God, those eyes.

I know that Orange and Yellow tastes

how they look, citric acid washing

across the cuts in my mouth from old

habits that die hard, like grinding teeth in

my sleep and biting the insides of my

cheeks...orange dreamsicles and lemon

meringue pies, tell no lies, I know there

is something here for me, I know

the truths should set me free...

But they tell me that the grass isn't

always Greener on the other side,

and those that live their lives for

themselves and are still humble

and caring while being carefree, truly have my envy...

If I wasn't so angry, so fearful, if my

first reaction to feeling too much didn't

result in Indigo-tinged knuckles and

Violet regrets that fade into a galaxy on

the verge of collapse,

then maybe they could fly free...

They could escape the cage they're more tired of

than the closet I keep selectively

jumping in and out of.