Rain Drop Suicide

It was a typical afternoon,

I was sitting,

As I always do,

There by the fire,

My hands on my lap,

It was tiring,

A daily event,

Getting up,

Every day,

Cheerful,

At least outside,

That mask,

Almost ready,

To fall away,

Revealing my true self,

My true emotional,

Instability.

I remembered a time,

Long ago,

When I was almost,

Happy,

Childhood folies,

I guess,

I assume,

There,

Now,

Distant,

Almost forgotten,

In the current state,

Of my mind,

I try,

I really do,

To bounce with each step,

Whistling happily,

Members of society,

Wishing,

They could be,

As happy as I seem to be.

Here I sit,

My shoulders slouch,

Wearily,

I lift my drink,

Seemingly defeated,

Trying to hold my head up high,

But failing miserably.

I can hear the rain,

Oh dear one,

I can hear it quite clear,

I wish to run outside,

Throwback my clothes,

Run naked through the scene,

To hear that thunder,

To feel that rain,

As I give up,

To that pain inside,

Tearing itself,

To be free,

I want to be free,

Free,

Free,

Hear me,

A lesser me,

Roar,

Into that final sleep,

I give into those falling rain drops.