Rage bait of a life.

everything is rage bait now

everything is

everyone says something to get a rise

tweet something to ruin your day

poke the wound

pull the string

watch you unravel

like it’s entertainment.

*

and i used to play along

used to scream in silence

used to feel it here-

tight in the chest

like i had to defend myself

like i had to teach them

had to explain

you can’t just say that

you can’t just

do that

to me

to people like me

to people who are just

trying

to be

at peace

*

but now i know

when i feel that anger coming

like a familiar itch

like a voice in my ear

telling me

don’t let them get away with it

don’t be soft

don’t be weak

don’t walk away

clap back-

but then

another voice

quieter

but somehow heavier

asks me

why are you carrying this?

why are you letting them hand it to you?

do you love yourself so little

that you’ll drag their burden

like it’s your job?

*

and that stopped me.

that broke something open.

*

because i used to think silence was defeat

but now i see it’s freedom

because when i don’t respond

they’re stuck with it

they keep their rage

their hate

their confusion

their trauma

their ugliness

they don’t get to pass it off to me

i’m not their bin

i’m not their battleground

for feisty release.

*

and maybe it hurts

maybe they’re talking about me

maybe they lied

maybe they twisted my name

in places i can’t reach

but what does it change?

me throwing my peace in the fire

just to shout back?

just to lose all serenity I’ve gathered?

*

i’m tired.

i’m too tired to be angry for people

who are already burning

and want me to burn too

so i walk away now.

*

sometimes i still feel it rise

still feel my fists clench

heart stutter

but i choose

again and again

to set it down

to not carry it

to let them stew in it

alone.

*

because i don’t hate myself that much

to take on what’s not mine

not anymore.