PTSD

Kaaliyah, remember me

Though it was never meant to be

Know what you meant to me

I used to feel all empty

But you were sent to me

I cried for help

And so you bent a knee

Whispered gently,

“See yourself for who you are”

“And ignore what you lack”

I think of you as I lie on my back, attacked

The Winter Sky is so black

I wonder if I’ll go back

Or if I’ve ever been

I wonder if there’s even a room to stay in

All I wanted was to play the flute

And now I never will

I’d kill for the chance

Lying stiff, lying still

Until I hear the final strike of the clock tick

Until I hear the final clutch of the gun click

Just let it be done quick

Easy does it, go easy on me

And make the slug stick

Don’t wanna live breathing funny

Don’t wanna be a laughing stock

I’ll die from shock before I live

As a green, cut tree

I light the halls with candlelights

Candles light the night lightly

Like a night-light

It’s a light night and a bright night

The night’s light is a bright knight

Knightly nightly

All’s well with a lantern

All the taverns are lit up

Set the caverns ablaze

Turning nights into days

As I sit here amazed

Dazed by the height of my own terror