pray/prey

this is not another mournful poem

lamenting the way my mind

rushes to flush joy

from the system

.

no, no

this is my search

for something else

.

can happiness be caught in a trap?

no?

.

but what if I do it chemically?

cease the reuptake

of my serotonin

trap it in this broken head

before it can escape again

.

pharmaceutical huntress

that'll be my name

I'll trap the happiness

before it can escape me again

.

for a moment—

I think I’ve got it

this lightness in my bones

I have beautiful, hollow bird bones!

.

but that lightness does not last.

and the fall hurts more

with each routine repetition.

.

slot me back

into control

dull my edges enough

that I can find the blades of my thoughts

before they can cut me