Embellished with my footprints
Rough remorseless road
Sidetracking with “exit” signs
“Easy way”
“Lighten your load”
Not all signs are omens.
Circuitous these off ramps
aptly control my roamings
No respite allowed
Alone I am a crowd
From where come these voices?
So virulently loud?
As if I am self-animate
And I chose such a course
Hubristically impudent
Surely I was forced.
Chimerical dreams
burst me at the seams
leaving in my weary wake
a silent trail of screams
Felicities flitting the firmament
deride my lack of reach
Cloudage hides the feelings
Still I hear them screech
Elation crashed upon me once
empyrean deserter
I’d bade her company in vain
now I just want just want to hurt her.
Compulsed to smash this thing to bits
can Happiness feel hurt?
Will it cry If I decide
to crush it in the dirt?
Suppose myself a killjoy
a sadist in the wry
Casuistic contemplation
whets the whats and whys
Preponderant ponderance
leaves me dissatisfied
Sedulously searching self
yearning for explanation
Did I choose this as my path?
Or did Predestination?
About the Creator
C.J. Jaye
Queer, neurodivergent poetess (occasional author of short fiction)...creating magical works from her home office (kitchen table) in upstate New York. Certified riding Instructor, horse and dog lover...Thriving despite mental illness.
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