Poetry Vol. 3

Secret Time:

The nights grow longer.

I anticipate the visits.

You'll get to stay,

We get to explore more.

Our eyes meet,

The heartbeats quicken.

As we begin the journey,

My breath gets ragged.

Your hands slide over my body,

My breath on your neck.

The excitement rises.

My breath quickens.

I close my eyes.

Let the rush take over.

This feeling of being close to you,

The lust is growing rapidly.

We fight for control,

Both want to win the battle.

We tire quickly,

Just flow and let it take over.

The clothes hit the floor.

Skin touches skin.

Fire bursts to life.

Our night becomes brighter.

The sounds echo off the halls.

Voices merging into one.

Each moan growing more frantic.

Sending us up soaring.

Pleasure grows from each touch.

Our bodies in sync.

Pace quickens.

The last moments are savored.

The screams full of content.

Ending are never the end.

We begin again.

-Stacey B. 11.9.16

Weak:

The pain of being away,

Is too much to say.

I can't stay long,

I'm coming back to you.

I've never felt so alone.

I walk and work like a drone.

I'm dying alone.

I'm coming back to you.

Please take me back.

Emotion is what I lack.

To live and breath,

I need you closer to me.

Than my shirts sleeve.

I need you.

Please, I need you.

I can't catch my breath.

I just can't leave.

The shaking begins,

My terrors win.

My hearts slowing.

My pain is showing.

-Stacey B.

Little Fears:

The children are crying.

Harsh words are flying.

They simply wish it to end,

I'll be there my friend.

Tiny fears,

Tiny tears.

Hear what fuels the fears.

They feel so scared, poor little dears.

I tried to push the anger away.

It refused, decided to stay.

The cruelty shone in their eyes.

Words harsher than lies.

I hold her close and cry too.

Her fears grew from few.

My hands shaking so badly.

While they went at it madly.

I looked at her face,

So young and innocent.

It was filled with terror.

It broke my heart.

I pull her to me,

Trying to blind her ears.

To the worlds nightmares.

Wishing I could take her away.

A little girl,

Deserves dreams filled with rainbows,

Not nightmares where mommy throws blows.

Not ones where she cries from fear.

I held her as she cried.

Her little hands over her ears.

Couldn't help but fear for her.

What would she do when I was gone?

Dear God, please watch over her.

Keep her safe when I'm gone.

I fear for her dreams,

Are no longer sweet.

Show her the love in life.

Not the hate.

-Stacey B.

Memories:

Memories, why do we have them?

They can be good or bad.

They can make us happy and sad.

Or, they can haunt you.

My memories never seem to be sweet.

They come at random times.

Glue me to my seat.

I feel as speechless as the mimes.

The ones that haunt me the most,

The ones I hold so close.

They are the bitter-sweet memories.

Of you and me.

I remember our first everything.

Sweet pain it brings.

I remember the last words,

The open wounds they tore.

I remember the "I love Yous".

Here are some more poems I've written, they don't have any titles yet, i was just trying to get some inner turmoil out.

The Voices won't shut up.

They scream and cry at me,

Demanding more.

I don't know what to give them.

I've shed tears, blood, my life force.

Nothing quiets them.

Always there, always loud.

I gave in; trying to burn them away.

It doesn't help.

I feel eternally broken.

Alone in the dark.

I want out,

I want to be saved.

Suffering quietly,

No one around to hear,

My cry for help.

So, I return to my flame.

The soft glow the only light,

It reaches my heart.

Keeps me warm.

Holding it close, it stings.

Yet, I finally feel something.

For once, I feel alive.

-sb

So many tears fall

Empty voices echo all around

I'm laying on the floor

Gasping for air

My lungs feel thick

Frozen over.

My eyes water with pain

My hands shake

I try to call out

Nothing escapes my lips.

My vision blurs

I'm seeking salvation

Only finding damnation.

Nightmares plague my dreams

Real monsters haunt my waking hours.

As hard as I try

I can't escape them

Trying to tell myself it's not real

Yet when they cut, I bleed

When they bite

It stings.

So is it all in my head?

Or is this Hell I live in?

-sb

It's so loud.

I want peace so badly,

Reaching for my metal and flame.

Sweet relief.

Temporarily, I have quiet.

No voices, no pain.

Bliss.

I need more, one is never enough.

Drip, drip, drip.

Splatters hit the floor.

Tears, blood.

Left to fight alone.

I'm losing this war.

When I scream out,

It echoes around me.

No answer, no help.

So loud, I'm going deaf.

Searing the flesh brings peace.

What happens when I run out of room?

Would anyone else burn for me?

Will I end up alone,

Charred and on the ground.

-sb

I close my eyes,

Breath in, breath out.

Steady hands,

Shake when I'm done.

New marks, new scars.

Desperately seeking inner peace.

No matter the cost,

I just want them to be quiet.

They scream at me,

Not good enough,

Terrible, rotten, filth.

Not loved, not wanted.

Press it to my skin,

Breath in, breath out.

Let go.

There's no control here.

Smoke drifts up,

Flickers of a flame.

Shinny, red, angry, beautiful.

New marks, new scars.

Temporary peace.

Slivers of light in the dark.

Voices so loud,

I can't tell which ones

Screams for help.

Which ones beg for death.

I'm falling into the abyss.

All dark, all alone.

No sound here,

Stuck watching the outside.

Knowing I'll never be free,

Never truly be me.

I don't know who that is.

She might be dead already.

I don't know who I am.

I might be dead already too.

An empty echo left behind.

Lost in the dark of my mind.

Craving life I never had.

Never will.

-sb

Mark my skin,

Make me bleed.

Try to dry my tears,

More pour over.

Hold back the screams,

My pain is so intense.

If I could physically manifest it,

Worlds would crumble.

People would die.

I can't though,

So it remains inside me.

A world ending war.

Hidden behind sad empty eyes,

Pink flesh turned black and red.

Healed wounds split open.

A deep breath, a soft sigh.

Ruin built up inside,

Why no one sees.

I'll never know.

I mark my skin,

I make it bleed.

Just one need,

Peace, eternal and blissful.

Never to be attained,

Lave while you can.

I'll bleed all over you.

Stained, tainted.

My ruin doesn't discriminate.

I'll drag you down,

Just to not be alone anymore.

-sb

I feel stuck. My head is so loud, all this screaming. But if someone were to ask, I'd say I'm fine, I'm okay. Surviving. I'm not though. I'm drowning. I can swim, and there's a raft in front of me. I don't reach for it though. My arms aren't my own. I can't make them move. So, I drown.

A sea of my own pain and tears, desperately seeking dry land. None in sight. Somewhere, someone laughs. She keeps me going, I'm so scared it won't be enough, so scared I'll be weak, and leave her all alone. Repeating a cycle I tried so hard to break. Broke myself Instead. Just to hear her laugh, see her smile one last time. I'm trying to hold on for her...I'm losing my grip.

-sb