Poems of Lost Love

Lost love is a popular topic in art and literature as it is something nearly every person can relate with. The post WWI poem by Edna Vincent Millay, “What Lips My Lips Have Kissed and Where and Why,” is a poem about lost love in which the persona grieves for her love whom she lost in the war. “Thank u, next” is a recent hit song by Arianna Grande about her gratitude towards her past loves. “What Lips My Lips Have Kissed and Where and Why” and “thank u, next” are both pieces that deal with realistic perspectives of lost love in different, yet effective ways, each using unique form and style from the other.

The universal theme of lost love is apparent in both “What Lips My Lips Have Kissed And Where And Why” and “Thank u, next”. Grande reflects on her past relationships with a sense of gratitude. When alluding to her recent broken engagement, Grande writes, “Even almost got married/And for Pete, I’m so thankful” (pg.1). “Thank u, next” is not mourning the loss of love, but showing gratitude for the things Grande gained with each loss. Grande expresses this gratitude in the line “One taught me love/One taught me patience/And one taught me pain/Now I’m so amazing” (pg.1). Rather than focussing on the positive outcomes of lost love, Millay chooses to focus on the grief that accompanies it. Millay displays to the reader the agony that goes along with lost love, “in my heart there stirs a quiet pain” (pg.64) Millay also remarks that the pain of lost love can change a person, saying “I only know that summer sang in me/A little while, that in me sings no more.” (pg.65). “What Lips My Lips Have Kissed And Where And Why” and “Thank u, next” both realistically depict two different sides of lost love.

“What Lips My Lips Have Kissed and Where and Why” uses a different form than “thank u, next”. “What Lips My Lips Have Kissed And Where And Why” is in the form of a Petrarchan sonnet. We can see Millay’s use of iambic meter in nearly each line, for instance, “Thus in the winter stands the lonely tree,” (pg.64). “What Lips My Lips Have Kissed and Where and Why” is constructed using the traditional octave and sestet of traditional Petrarchan sonnet. An A, B, B, A rhyme scheme can be seen in the octave of “What Lips My Lips Have Kissed And Where And Why”, “Upon the glass and listen for reply,/And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain/For unremembered lads that not again/Will turn to me at midnight with a cry.” (pg.64). The sestet of “What Lips My Lips Have Kissed And Where And Why” is built using a rhyme scheme of C, D, E, D, C, E using the words “tree,… one,… before:… gone,… me… more.” (pg.64). To contrast, “thank u, next” uses common conventions belonging to ballads. While “thank u, next” does not have a consistent rhyme scheme, it is made up of four line stanzas such as, “I’ve loved and I’ve lost/ but that’s not what I see/So, look what I’ve got/Look what you taught me,” (pg.1). The lines above also demonstrate the inconsistent rhyme scheme of A, B, A, B; while this appears a few times throughout the song, it is not constant. “Thank u, next” is written mostly in iambic metre, with a few lines such as, “I’m so fuckin’ grateful for my ex” (pg.1) being trochaic, and having an extra syllable at the end of the line, causing it to sound out amongst those surrounding it. Another convention of ballads Grande follows in this piece is the use of popular and contemporary language; for instance the line “Gon’ make that shit last” (pg.2) is written in language that would not likely be understood in Millay’s day.

The two pieces also differ in style. Millay uses imagery and symbolism to portray the emotions of her persona. Millay uses ghosts as a metaphor for the haunting memories the persona is burdened with; “… but the rain/is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh/Upon the glass and listen for reply,”(pg.64). Later on in “What Lips My Lips Have Kissed And Where And Why” the emotions of sadness and happiness are represented by the seasons of winter and summer. The line, “Thus in the winter stands the lonely tree,” (pg.64) represents the sad emotions the persona is feeling, whereas the line, “I only know that summer sang in me” (pg.65) represents the persona’s happy memories. Rather than using symbolism, Grande chooses to use a more straightforward approach in “thank u, next.” The emotions and events in “thank u, next” are described without the use of imagery or metaphors; for example, “Thought I’d end up with Sean/But he wasn’t a match/Wrote some songs about Ricky/Now I listen and laugh,”(pg.1). Grande is directly referencing her past loves, without embellishment. The song continues in this style saying, “Spend more time with my friends/I ain’t worried ‘bout nothin’”. Instead of using a metaphor to describe her sense of content, Grande directly states, “I ain’t worried ‘bout nothin’” (pg.1). While these two styles are drastically different, both assist in the realistic portrayal of experiencing lost love. Zeitgeist, or the spirit of the age, has a lot to contribute to the way these pieces are executed. Being a post-WWI poem, “What Lips My Lips Have Kissed and Where and Why” expressed the zeitgeist of mourning; whereas the contemporary “Thank u, next” emulates today’s zeitgeist of female strength and independence.

“What Lips My Lips Have Kissed and Where and Why” by Edna St. Vincent Millay, and “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande both accurately convey two difference experiences of lost love. Millay uses symbolism and the sonnet form, where as Grande leans on realism and ballad conventions. “What Lips My Lips Have Kissed And Where And Why” draws the reader in to the world of grief, and the torturous pain that can accompany lost love; as opposed to “Thank u, next” encouraging the audience be grateful for the lessons learned from the loss. Both pieces have the ability to resonate with audiences, due to their universal nature. An individual whom experienced lost love due to tragedy may use Millay as a comfort, and an individual whom experienced lost love due to a mutual breakup may use Grande as a comfort. Nearly every individual experiences lost love in their lifetime; having works of literature that reflect and mirror the emotions of humanity, can help individuals feel less alone. Lost love is a popular theme throughout literature due to the fact that it is so universal, and can be expressed in so many different ways.

Works Cited

Grande, Ariana. “Thank u, next.” Thank u, next. 2019.

Millay, St. Vincent, Edna. “What Lips My Lips Have Kissed And Where And Why.” The Making of a Poem: A Norton Anthology of Poetic Forms. Eds. Mark Strand and Eevan Boland. 2000. 64-65.