Perceptions

i see things

with my eyes closed

i see things

that aren't there

i see things

when i'm not here

i can feel things

when i know

i shouldn’t care

i know this

but a part of me doesn't

i have accepted this

but a part of me won't

i know this

but that doesn't really matter now

i don't let it

and so it don't

a stark and scratchy black and white vista

portrait image landscape page

an old reel to reel film

jammed mid frame

slowly burns between lens and lamp

behind the gate in the projector

scratches and scribbles

join with jots and dots

that don't exist

forming things that aren't even there

slow motion gravity defying graffiti

melts across the inside of my eyelids

trying to flick my REAL switch

amid this mirrored mind mess morass

a Frankensteiny scrawl

of damaged things emerges

cocks what could be its head

to one side for a brief moment

stretches palsied limbs of derelict wishes

and abandoned broken lines

shakes and scatters

more broken about

and sinks back into the malaise

stranger figures form

beneath a silent surface stirred

and then

are sucked back upon

and into themselves

my eyes twitch

the lines bubble and bulge

and recant a different version

of the same twists and squiggles

a macabre cartoon

a darkened room

a festooning of gloom

i yell at a moon

as my throat

becomes the sky

i hide from the sun

i’m not ready

i’m not set

not for that

not yet

last night

these visions

these scratches in my eyes

these crude splashes of unreality

that paint themselves

across the insides of my eyes

were able to abscond to my ears

last night

i let the chirping of many crickets

keep me awake

…

there were no crickets