Past Life Regression

there’s a face I recognize but never allow myself to get close enough to in this life

the moment I close my eyes

I am grabbed by my hands and I wish I had their wings

I whisper don’t take me

swarming in circles, their buzzes ring

your ice blue eyes pierce through mine

I am paralyzed

I don’t feel their stings

why did you bring me here?

rusted cage, foggy brain

I turn my head and the focus lags

their bodies cling to me

their violent buzzing sounds like screams

I am engulfed in yellow and black

I can’t hear your icy laugh

beam of light, blinding flash

I am shot awake

until again it replays countless nights in my childhood

my cries are trapped in the aging walls

I have never been stung

past life regression I’d later learn

soul transgression of a memory that took my life

triggered stress response at the slightest similar sound, or the colours in alternating stripes, or the icy blue eyes widened and

ready to kill

I asked a psychic lady years later why I was so phobic that I couldn’t even muster the word without feeling ill

She said this is how you died and actually the reason it’s so traumatizing is because it wasn’t an accident

she described the rusted enclosure

I closed my eyes and remembered the reoccurring nightmare

their tiny faces programmed to attack

I stand outside and there one lands on my hand

I’m taken back

don’t take me back

-Ade