Minds unchained
Float like ghosts
Traversing a karst river
Single file, silent
Hidden within geological caverns
Unseen indigo, caliginous ribbon
Sharp aquatic claws
Carve winding trails
Into pliant limestone
A Dantean spiral
Descending
Rickety wooden steps
Macabre and threatening
Disturbed
Bats whisked by
Mere hairsbreadth away
Shuddering at the thought
Of them tangled
In my curls
Arriving in the lowest circle
Roughly anchored
To a rotting platform
Stalactite palace unveiled
No corners
Just curves
In all the right places
Crystalline water gleamed
Teal-tinted looking glass
I was Alice
Perched on the edge
Legs sifting through
Heaven itself
Curiouser and curiouser
Slipping slowly
Below surface serene
Rocky cheshire maw
Swallowed me whole
In one smooth gulp
Casting off my swimsuit
Unable to bear artifice
In this holy rabbit hole
Penny laughed at my
Indecorous wildness
Spectres lingered
For a spell
Swelling around
Still breathing (for now) flesh
Eidolon partner
Benevolent Terpsichore
Led an underwater dance
Motion sure and true
My tangled choreography
Of neurons and pathways
Is nearly impossible to trace
But here I left behind
Artifice and costumes
All Thought, reason
In favour of
Mad joy
About the Creator
Aspen Marie
In love with life and all of its foibles.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Keep reading
More stories from Aspen Marie and writers in Poets and other communities.
Comments (8)
Wooohooooo congratulations on your honourable mention! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
You're such a talented poet! The word choice, the images, the emotions, it's all stellar. Loved reading this!
I don't know what it is about these two words together, but they belong. 'caliginous ribbon'. 'Aquatic claws' yes! Brings us the original lines and the fact that you can think outside the box and still create a clear image. Vivid enough to trap it in our minds. Bats whisked by mere hairsbreadth away. What a moment you captured here. Bats aren't given the attention they deserve. At least I don't think so. I was Alice. Shout out to Alice. I smiled when I got to this line. Loving reading the familiar. Free verse but damn. Is there anyway you could go back to this place. This reads like silk. Smooth enough to read without nails getting caught in a thread. This is my recent favourite by you. Blown away. Fantastic photo too 😍 🤗❤️
Your blend of geological wonder, mythological imagery, and pure human transformation is absolutely captivating. The way you guide us from that eerie descent through limestone caves to that final moment of liberated "mad joy" is masterful.
Beautiful poetry and your word choice is on point.
This is stunning, lass. Annoyingly I wrote about cenotes...but from the perspective of never having experienced one in person yet! This was exquisite. You just breathe poetry, I'm sure. Well done.
Oooo, I learned two new words from you today, indecorous and caliginous. Loved your poem!
This sounds so peaceful and liberating.