P.T.S.D

P.T.S.D

You remind me of myself the way you're being manipulated

By your own kind

No matter how much you try to be kind,

They still treat you like you're expendable

Instead of standing up for yourself, you choose to be quiet

Not knowing being quiet will only hurt you more

Trust, I used to be quiet

Act nice

Smile here and there to mask my true feelings

So they won’t notice that the previous 8 hours of sleep were held hostage by my crying

Maybe this smile hides my thoughts of taking my life

Maybe this smile will hide this anger that I have rising inside me

You remind me of the old me

You used to be my escape from reality

Now you just remind me of all the times when I thought about killing Kenneth,

Cause in my darkest moments,

I learned that family isn’t hereditary

It’s grown into

In my darkest hours, I had no one to run to

People sat and watched me sing the blues

Those same people say they wish they could have been there for me now

Would they have even changed anything?

At times, I felt like I wasn’t even myself

Like I was outside myself, feeling like

Kenneth had been lost in the mix

Started drinking heavily to fix

The pain that he had felt

He often dreamed of being killed

Just so his family could know the pain he felt of losing himself

Kenneth gave in, he figured he mind as well there was no changing the hand he was dealt

He looks to the sky, looking for a God to hold him up like a belt

Those moments were when he started to not believe there was a higher power

Or if there was one, then he was just a coward

Because he couldn’t believe this was his life that he had to live with

Kenneth was never in the streets

But he still feels like he has P.T.S.D

He wishes he could escape this depressing ass box that he’s in, but he can’t find the fucking Key

I often think of K as being a different person

Or like a different version

But honestly, I still feel like the same person

P.T.S.D