One Year Later

it's been a year

a year since i've heard

your voice

a year since i've been able to

call you on the phone

a year since i was able to

ask you questions i've

had circling my mind for

almost a decade

it's been a year

people told me

i shouldn't be allowed

to grieve

people told me

i didn't deserve

to mourn

but they don't have

a clue about

the hurt i felt

the day i received

the news

they don't know

about the way i

felt frozen

when i found out

the truth

about the way i

felt as if my entire

world just fell apart

in just a single second

those same people

who told me i

shouldn't be allowed

to grieve

to mourn

to feel heartbroken

over the lost of you

those same people

don't realize that

you were one of my

final connections

with him

one out of three

gone

i didn't just lose you

that day

i lost a part of him

so those people

who told me

i wasn't allowed

to feel sad

over you

they don't know

the day i found out

about you

i was suddenly

back in my

living room

sitting on the couch

hearing the dreaded words

no person should ever

be able to hear

in their lifetime

the day i found out

you climbed that

long staircase

to the skies

i was taken back

nine years

hearing the words

"your father passed away"

instead of

"your grandmother

passed away"

people could tell me

all they want

that i shouldn't be allowed

to grieve

or to mourn

or that I shouldn't

be feeling as

heartbroken

as I do

but I can't help

myself

i just want to

hear your voice

one more time

to be able to

hear your laugh

to see that

twinkle in your

eye when you

talk about your

passions

i just want to

be able to

call you up

on the phone

to bring his

memory to life

once again

i just want to

be able to

have one more

hug shared with

you once again

to wrap my arms

around your body

and give you a squeeze

those were things i

had once taken

for granted

thinking i'd never

lose them

i just hope

that you're

sitting with him

helping him

watch over me

guiding me to

the path i'm

supposed to be on

i just hope that

you told him all

that i've done

since he left us

i just hope that

after a year

you are proud

of the family

you left down here

after a year

i hope you are

proud of how

far we've all

managed to come

even after losing

the one person

we always assumed

would live forever