One Thousand Monkeys

i woke up this morning

in a real funny mood

i climbed the nearest tree

and started throwing poo

(first i had a banana)

when i'd finished flinging faeces

i climbed as high as i could

and when i reached the top

had a bit of a groom

took in the view

whipped out my monkey wang

and gave it a little tug

(it’s a boy thing )

up in the top of that tree

the tree and the toss

we're both highlights

eventually i scurried down

and turned my attention to the rest of myself

i'm a monkey

i'm a fucking monkey

but

if i'm a monkey

then so are the rest

of these furry fuckers

up here in this tree

up here with me

up here with me in this tree

i'm a monkey

AND

i've got a typewriter

i'm a monkey

with a typewriter

we’ve all got typewriters

we just need that thousand years

…

ONE THOUSAND YEARS LATER

…

endless reams of mindless drivel

hangs from the branches of the trees

a collection of key mashes and useless strokes

a ticker tape festooning of jungle gibberish

not one legible word

in the whole fuckin lot

and

it’s

all

covered

in

flung dung,

banana vomit

and monkey spooge