One Second

Home is one second. Just one. One second of not constantly judging myself about what I did or didn’t do, or where I'm expected to be but I'm not. One second free from the shackles of the opinions of others because that’s not who I am anyway. One second of silence from the swords piercing my thoughts telling me that I'm not good enough when there's actually nothing to prove. One deep breath from the sidelines of a race society put me in that I never wanted to run. One second of presence in the constant battle of worrying or focusing on a future I don’t even know will come to pass. One second away from replaying the past of what could or should have been that longs to be tucked in and left to rest. One Second of peace from the fight or flight response to the time clock at work, the uncomfortable conversations that need to be had, the constant fear of not having enough and actually believing the lie that there isn’t enough to go around. One Second of vulnerability without fear of manipulation or deceit. One second of stillness from the trauma screaming to be healed inside as it seeps out into the interactions had with those in the world around me. One second free from distractions in a reality where coping is finger taps in various apps that where never meant to make me feel whole. One second of surrendering to the sweetness of uncertainty, releasing control and trusting that my soul will end up where it’s meant to be. One second of purposelessness bliss in the worthiness of existing in this expression. One second of accepting all the perfect imperfections of what is, was, and will ever be. And finally, the one second of reconciliation with myself where I realized that home was always within me.