On the Bad Days

On the bad days colors aren’t as vibrant

Red, blue, purple, green

All just different shades of blur

My day dreams don’t dance through my head like ballerinas on a lit up stage

I don’t have any day dreams at all

Sounds have a monotone ring to them

I don’t enjoy music the same on these days

My mind doesn’t work as fast

I can’t fantasize

My mind won’t energize

Everything is in slow motion

Food just tastes like surviving not thriving

I don’t feel much of anything really

my body is numb in the most painful ways

So on the bad days I want to stop and never see a green light

I want to fall into my sleep

Laying there in the quiet

No one knowing where I am to wake me up

But worst of all on the bad days I don’t love my self the way I should

On any other day I would love my little nose and the way it scrunches up when I laugh

But I don’t laugh on the bad days

So there seems to be nothing to love about that noes

It feels like nothing's inside so all there is to judge is my outer shell

And I don’t see it shine or glimmer

It’s dull

But on the good days the day isn’t just good

It’s great

I live for color on the good days

Red, blue, purple, green

More like a rose you give someone you love, the beautiful sky, a freshly washed grape, the trees that grow so tall

All I do is day dream and they don’t just dance

They sway, twirl, spin, jump, and swing

And I can hear every crisp detail of sound

Birds don’t tweet on the good days

The preform ballets for my ears to enjoy

My mind is going 100 miles per hour on these days

I can enjoy food for what it is

and not what it becomes

On the good days I love my self

I love the way I love

I love the way I have a little skip in my step when I’m exited

I love the way my hair curls and waves

I love every crease

I love the way I wiggle my noes when I talk

I love my green eyes and not for what they look like

but for what the good days let me see out of them

I never want to stop

That’s why I push through the bad days

So I can have a good one tomorrow

The good days bring me so much joy

That the bad days don’t ever stop me from

trying again tomorrow to bring forth at least

one more

Great

Day