On Disappearing

If you’d like to go,

You can leave this world behind

(If you do, I hope you get

Some of that peace you’ve been trying to find)

There’s so much on your shoulders

Like Atlas carrying the world

There’s so much on your mind

All those thoughts in a swirl

Sure, you can turn them all off

The power’s in your hands

But there are a few things to do first

If you want to go through with your plans

First, you’ll have to hide

and turn off your phone

Avoid all their calls

(It’s funny, I thought you felt alone?)

Just keep it off

Eventually, they’ll take the hint

Stay in your silence (stay there, stay)

While they wonder where you went

Lock yourself away

From the sun and moon and stars

From the birds and butterflies and flowers

Hide in the dark with your scars

Keep your worries on repeat

Play them in your songs, in your movies

Until you’re ready for defeat

Let all your thoughts be pain

And it won’t feel like saying goodbye

Let all your thoughts be worry

And you won’t fear leaving it all behind

And now all that is left

Is to go away

And hope no one really loved you

Like they’d always say

Hope they loved you less

If you’re really going to leave

Or else they’ll always find you again

In the corners of their memories

(And even if you think there’s no one

There’s always someone there

-always someone who will remember

-always someone who cared)

They’ll find you there inside

They’ll soak in your loss

They’ll pull you from where you hide

And hold you in their arms

And cry and cry and cry

About how they weren’t ready

And ask you, “Why? Oh, God, why?”

Because no one‘s ever really ready

(No, never really ready) to say goodbye…

And then…

What will you say?

To help them live again...

Once you’ve gone away?