Oh, Porcelain Throne
More Than Just An Ordinary, Everyday Object!
Oh porcelain throne
I wrote this for you
You're often taken for granted
Tho' many do not recall
A time you never existed
You are the perfect place
To evacuate impurities and toxins
But you are so much more
Than just a hygienic solution to waste
On you, we spend many hours of our life
Some say an average of 30 minutes a day
Not including those "special occasions"
When we have viruses, hangovers, constipation, or diarrhea
When we are sick as a dog, a quivering wreck
You are there for us
When the night before, the morning after starts to repeat
When the hot curry or chilli comes back to haunt us
You are there for us
When we're sat in the cubicle at work and can't face the day
When we're sat in the bathroom at home and trying to escape
You are there for us
With our smartphone or a good book
With a loved one showering or bathing
When we share intimate moments
When we share intimate conversations
When we are crying our eyes out
When we are readying for the day
Digesting the thoughts in our heads
As you deal with our undigested filth
You are always there,
Always there, always waiting,
Waiting with loyalty and stoic sturdiness
To take whatever we give you
The piss, the crap, the blood, and puke
You keep us clean and hygienic
By eliminating impurities and toxins
Sending them down the drain
Oh porcelain throne
I wrote this for you
*
Thanks for reading!
Another entry for the Ode to Ordinary Challenge, which you can learn more about here:
I aimed to take the humble, ever-present flushing toilet and make a beautiful, inspirational ode.
If you have time and inclination, you might enjoy these other pieces:
You can also take a look at the rest of my work here.
About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!
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Comments (6)
What’s that Toy Story song… “you’ve got a friend”… or something, that was playing in my head while reading this delightfully thoughtful ode! 😆
I have no idea what I'd do without my porcelain throne. Thank God it existed when I was born. It's so scary to think of a time before it. Loved your ode!
Somehow you managed to write about a toilet with such reverence and respect, and make it funny! This is totally amazing and has me looking at my porcelain throne quite differently now... like a friend. lol! Great work, Paul!
Haha. Great job.
Sometimes more ready than able, lol. I've lost track of how many times lately..., well, let's just say I hate having to use the plunger & clean it up after.
Love it 😂It definitely the throne of the household . Let battle of releasing waste from our body begin .