OBSESSION

it begins harmlessly enough.

a thought.

a smile to

myself.

secret self-satisfaction and a subtle

sweetness i cannot name.

the thought comes again.

bigger. louder. more colorful.

my heart squeezes in

my chest.

my mind pumps out a thought again.

she is always there, but i don't always know it, until...

there it is again, sudden, like a knock on a door.

i don't want to answer and keep thinking these

thoughts. but she's there. i can always feel her; i

know she's there though i don't always see her.

i like it. the feeling always makes me feel alive.

i want it, the something to think about, look at,

listen to inside my head.

my heart races. the spiral

starts.

she is walking in circles in my mind,

looking through windows into my inner life.

she is barefoot.

i feel her toes curl inside my inner skin.

she is vivid and lovely.

she runs her fingers along

the wall as she walks, moves silently and

stealthily, planning her next attack.

she is always there, behind every corner of my mind, ready to show

me her wares, ready to whisper to me.

she looms large; i fear i'll never think of anything else

again.

she is close, teasing me.

i feel her breath inside the nape of my neck.

i shudder.

she isn't real although i can smell her.

what i wouldn't give to have her, right in front of me.

what i wouldn't give if she thought of me as i think of her. up all

night, sleepless, composing endless letters,

daydreaming and wishing for me.

if i were that one, what would i do? would i run? would i hide?

would i go inside my mind and meet her in hers?

pick up the scent she left behind to guide me to where she is...

she eludes me. teases. loves the attention.