Now That I Look Back

Now that I look back

The guilt grows gross

The hell I lived

While you built cosmos

I wasn’t part of.

Now that I look back

I saw it raining today

Small drops, loud sound

Just over the blood

Shimmering through wounds

That you once carved on my soul

I was fooled and I was clowned.

Now that I look back

All those promises

Promising Forever

Nows and Nevers

Highs and Lows

The good The bad

Happy or Sad

Seems like the most

Terrible dream I ever had.

Now that I look back

It makes me so sick

You made me hate me

Made people do hate me

You used to shame me

Frustrate me, Hallucinate me.

Your words fascinate me.

Now that I look back

I still am not over you

Seems like I never will

Maybe I’m not strong enough

I ain’t a sage sent from up the hill.

Now that I look back

You seemed unaffected

evoking my fears

Or my incessant tears

Be it my health

Or my career

I hope you enjoyed

My destruction’s premiere...