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uncertain

By BellePublished 7 months ago Updated 7 months ago 2 min read
Runner-Up in I Didn’t Say That Out Loud Challenge
scene image taken from "Bojack Horseman" (cropped)

IWANNAQUITIWANNAQUITIWANNAQUITIWANNAQUIT

It really burns

IWANNAQUITIWANNAQUITIWANNAQUITIWANNAQUIT

Each breath is exhausting.

This scorched earth, this unhopeful place.

LETITBURNLETITBURNLETITBURNLETITBURN

"I have no future here."

IWANNAQUITIWANNAQUITIWANNAQUITIWANNAQUIT

Starve speak quiet muffle penetrate

exhaust fuel discriminate

BURNBURNBURNBURN

I wanna scream and yell

I want to tear off my skin from the inside out

molt off this body that's been touched

that's been exposed and expected

but the body underneath won't face any better

MOURNMOURNMOURNMOURN

the body is watching

MOVEMOVEMOVEMOVE

this world is crumbling

BURNBURNBURNBURN

I want to stab and pierce and cut and slice

I want to tear and rip and pull and splice

INARAGERAGERAGERAGE

tear out my eyes and pull off the lids

scratch off my lips and drag down the ears

a little bit of pain just to feel something

LETMEFEELLETMEFEELLETMEFEELLETMEFEEL

something physical

grab the next body, anything with a pulse

seduction destruction production instruction

let you into my body just to feel something

MAKEMEFEELMAKEMEFEELMAKEMEFEELMAKEMEFEEL

something physical

"Take me to the rooftop"

rivers of red and pools are daunting

but man it would feel so good

I want to stop breathing

this smoky air

boiling blood and veins burning

SMOKEITOUTSMOKEITOUTSMOKEITOUTSMOKEITOUT

do you hear the screaming

CUTITOUTCUTITOUTCUTITOUTCUTITOUT

do you hear the s c r e a m i n g

TURNITOFFTURNITOFFTURNITOFFTURNITOFF

my body aches with unpleasant inaction

my mind a minefield of things I haven't done

blowing up before i have the chance

each one BOOMS and another thing is lost

BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM

the bodies pile up

BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM

the dead are piling up

ACHEACHEACHEACHE

the dead are screaming out

WAKEWAKEWAKEWAKE

RAGERAGERAGERAGE

the system was made but nothing was made

for us

god nothing's made for us

this world was not made for this

we were not made for this

"What was I made for"

WHATWASIMADEFOR

i can't think can't speak can't drink can't eat

consumption of things only fuels the bombs

BLOWNBLOWNBLOWNBLOWN

let me die then

let me die then

let me die then

let me die then

anything's better than a world like this

isn't it?

perhaps this is it

is this really it?

"there is no other side"

"this is it"

funny how it is

funny how dark

but i'm not laughing

are you laughing?

are you crying

do you feel anything

i don't feel anything

it's numb down here

baby it's numb down here

Mental Healthperformance poetrysocial commentaryStream of Consciousnessslam poetry

About the Creator

Belle

I host unofficial challenges and enjoy writing microfiction and poetry.

ALL EYES ON RAFAH.

Top Story Count: 16

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insight

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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Comments (8)

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  • Mike Singleton 💜 Mikeydred 6 months ago

    👍

  • Wooohooooo congratulations on your win! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊

  • Imola Tóth7 months ago

    Congratulations on your placement! 🎉🎉

  • Komal7 months ago

    Whoa, feels like a heavy metal ballad of the soul. Definitely Not easy to read but impossible to ignore. Sometimes just saying it cracks the silence a little.💖

  • I really hope you're okay Belle 🥺 Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️

  • G. A. Botero7 months ago

    Angry, hurt, and disillusioned is what I felt reading this. It moved me for sure.

  • Mitchell Bartling7 months ago

    This sounds like a really intense outpouring of frustration. I've felt that urge to just break free and let it all out at times.

  • Lightning Bolt ⚡7 months ago

    I love how frantic and fast it feels. Desperate screams. Very disturbing, Belle. ⚡😉 👍

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